Elections:
What bird will never note in an election?
A mynah, because he's too young.
Dracula:
Where is Dracula's office in America?
In the Vampire State Building.
Cinema:
CINEMA ATTENDANT: That's the sixth ticket you've bought!
CUSTOMER: Yes, I know, there's a girl in there kept tearing the them up!
Animals:
TEACHER: Name four animals of the cat family?
PUPILS: Father cat, Mother cat, and two kittens!
Archaeologist:
What the definition of an archeologist?
A man whose career is in ruins.
Traffic
Lights:
What did the traffic lights say tot he sports car?
Don't look now, I'm changing.
Vegetarian:
What did the cannibal become a vegetarian?
Well, you can go off people you know.
Weight:
What's a good way of putting on weight?
Eat peach, swallow the centre, and u've gained a stone.
Week:
Who invented the five-day week?
Robinson Crusoe. He had all his work done by Friday.
